I'm still alive guys and I'm sorry for not answering any emails and stuff alot has been going on with the police and shit, but that's not really why I've written this post, recently I got a comment saying:
-.- god get over it!
Everyone goes through this sometime in their lives.
And for the girl above pff.. don't compare your life to hers saying what you go through is worse.
You can't really say it is or not, what we live and feel affects us and even if you think that you live a harder life and her seems less hard well it can affect her as much as it affects you even if it doesnt seem like it should.
I don't want to get personal here but I've gone through bad shit myself, I could say that i've gone through much tougher moments then the ones you have, but thats not the point. And as I said before, even though we have lived different things it can hurt just the same.
From what I've read, this girl has got a lot of help from her parents but she still wants more and more attention. If she really wanted help and to get better than she would have to really think that way and put some of herlsef into it.
Think about what you have and what others don't, try looking at everything without thinking "oh poor me :( " dont ever feel pitty for youself and be strong. It's the best thing you can do and it works. Get help if you want and actually try to get helped. Look for nice hobbies and create goals for your life.
Dont wine, its smarter to tell your story if you have been strong enough to get over all your troubles. :)
Bye
To this anonymous writer:
I am NOT seeking attention, this was the only way to let people know how I feel, if anyone is bothered by it don't read it. the things I write nobody that I really know reads it and it feels good to get it all out it was one of my only ways of coping, but now I few left.
And I don't feel sorry for myself, infact I hate myself.
The abuse I went through, I feel like it's my fault that I didn't do anything about it sooner and I must've done something horrid or else it wouldn't have happened. For my self-harming I feel useless and horrible to everyone that cares. I feel like shit and have no pity for myself whatsoever. I hate myself and I deserve to die, for all the horrible things I've done, so sorry for me? I do not think so...
I don't mean to be rude but saying that I seek attention and feeling sorry for myself really got me upset, when you clearly don't know me, nobody does. And nobody probably never will...
I do not know the next time I'll post again might be a while or it might not.
16 comments:
I usually never post comments, but I feel like I must reach out to you. Pay no mind to negative posts, because they are not productive or worth trouble they cause. I don't know you or the specifics of what you've been through or continue to go through but please believe me when I tell you, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad that was done to you was your fault...at all. You were a victim not a participant. Traumatic events can be very confusing and it can actually seem easier to act out and/or turn the resulting hurt and anger in on ourselves, rather than the individual(s) that actually damaged us. Please don't do that. Your life is worth everything. I obviously don't know you, but you indicate that there are people in your life that you care about and they care about you. So, please don't make them have to deal with the pain of losing you. You are stonger than you think, I know this because you talk about your feelings which is a huge step to healing. I commend you for using your blog as a sounding board rather then keeping everything all bottled up inside yourself which would cause you much more pain. Elin, you have to learn to redirect your anger and pain away from yourself and towards your abuser(s). Then you will be able to start the healing process for yourself. Perhaps, your Parents or a Therapist can help you do that. Please let them try if they are willing and if they are not then please seek help on your own. Life is hard sometimes and it can seem truly unbearable with no hope in sight, but there is always hope, even in the darkest of times and life is worthwhile. YOUR life is worthwhile and worth fighting for and so are you. I pray that you learn to love and value yourself because you are truly worth it. I am so very sorry that you have been so hurt in your young life, and I know you have a lot to overcome, but I really believe you can do it. Please, take it from an objective stranger that you are not useless or horrible and you should not hate yourself for what happened to you because, as a child, I promise you there is nothing you did to encourage the abuse and it was not your responsibility to stop it. Above all else, you absolutely do NOT deserve to die, Elin. You deserve to LIVE, HEAL, GROW and be HAPPY. I will pray for you, that you stay strong and healthy and that people come into your life that can help you get better.
Hey Elin,
It is good to hear from you again. Please take csre of yourself and get back to converting things for us Sims 3 players. I hope you begin to feel better soon, and continue with your Therapy and get the help you need,to continue your life to the fullest.
Hey I only recently stumbled upon this blog (which I love by the way as you can never have enough sims3 stuff) and was checking back and saw this post...obviously like the people before me I don't know you but what I can tell is you're a fighter or you wouldn't still be here. An it does sound like an awful cliche but I do know what its like (not what you're going through because no one can feel anothers pain) to hate yourself so much and to sometimes feel like the only way out of the mess and pain is to end it all but it really isn't the answer. I think it's a brave an amazing thing to vent your emotions (which are so personal) to a public audience and really put yourself out there...let some so called healthy people do that and they'd probably freak out worrying what people thought of them. Forget everyone else and the people that stumble upon here and thinks it's fun to leave awful messages because they don't count (if they did they'd have a brain to figure out how brave you are and how this blog could help someone who's going through the same to realise they're not alone) and all that matters is that you're comforable with where and who you are in life. If ever you need someone to listen or just to chat with just reply to this message and I'll leave you my email (I'm sure you have enough people to chat to and friends but if ever you do the offers there). Stay safe and well and carry on blogging xxx
Hey,
I wanted to say that I know how you feel. I've felt worthless for years, and I didn't think I was worth as much as others around me. I was bullied by others for years because I wasn't like them.
I also have some friends who have gone through the same thing, so I know what it feels like. It's very wrong to accuse you of seeking attention, because people who are suicidal seek help and understanding, not attention.
Don't pay any attention to the negative comments. They haven't been through this, otherwise they wouldn't say the things they're saying.
Life is a gift, a once in a life opportunity, and if you lose it you are never going to get it back.
Your life is worth so much more than you could ever imagine. You are not worth less than anyone else around you. Think about it. :)
If you ever need anyone to talk to, you are welcome to write me anytime. :)
Have a good day,
Gerda :)
I'm just glad to see a post from you. It's been a long time. I hope the next time, things will be going your way and you'll be doing what makes you happy.
A shame that people sling thoughtless comments at strangers behind their anon shield. For one, no one's is having a pissing match to see who has the worst life, I'm sure there's someone out there who does have the worst... And it cetainly doesn't help any one to badger them or expressing themselves. That is the problem with an open forum, the bad comments come in with the good.
We're all strangers here. I don't pity you, but all I do want for you is for you to be happy and have a good life. And I know you don't want a stranger's pity. I've had pity before, and I hated it. Is it so hard to hear a stranger is in pain and instead of pitying them, just hope the best for them?
Oh, my God. I am SO glad you're alive!
Ignore general dipshit who posted the comment.
''I don't want to get personal here but I've gone through bad shit myself, I could say that i've gone through much tougher moments then the ones you have, but thats not the point.''
And after this, the person says that you're seeking attention and pity yourself. That poster did JUST that in this part. Fucking asshole...
Elin is trying to get help and be better, but guess what, that's not so fucking easy!
Elin, please, I beg of you, don't hurt yourself or commit suicide! PLEASE! I may not understand what you're going through and how actually hard that is, but I think I can relate myself to your pain. I know it's hard. But please...Don't kill yourself.
You have your parents and your family, and, although I don't know you, you have me too. If you need someone to vent to or just chat, hell, you can yell at me if it helps you... contact me. Just know that I'm by your side.
I have a blog myself and writing my thoughts in a post is a great of coping so I fully understand you there. Keep doing that.
And you're not guilty for the things that have been done to you. No. Just, no. Okay?
Please, make some signs that you're alive. Do it for your readers.
*hugs* You're gonna get through this all. <3
My mother is saying that you should read Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton. She also suffers from depression and says that this books helped her. Maybe you should read it...?
The published post was not, in my mind, meant to come off as negative.
Firstly, it would seem that the post started off horridly. It seemed to teeter between an attempt at 'strong and helpful words' and just.. Jumping to conclusions. The poster went a bit too far by going on as if a therapist, stating what they feel is fact. They were correct in stating that everyone goes through a bad row, but not everyone goes through exactly these situations. This is what makes you worth listening to, Elin. This is not a generic stint, this is something that needs to be paid attention to, until you are able to express and do all that is necessary to get out of these feelings.
Secondly, the tone of the entire post was pushy.. This is an outsider assuming that they are knowledgeable in what you are feeling. Anyone with ANY knowledge into what you are feeling would NOT have gone on in such a way.
And yet..
The poster tells you to be strong, they tell you to keep trying (in a manner of speaking). The poster is right, lives should not be compared.. NO ONE will have the same situation. This is the beauty and wonder of being alive. We all go through something unique, even in the smallest of ways, and such makes our particular issues just as important as those of any other. The poster, however, slipped up by going into comparing their own experiences against your own. And then went even further to show silliness by stating that the comparison was not the point...
If I were to take the stance of that anonymous poster, I would go so far as to say that they, themselves, are victim to their own issues and trying to make themselves feel better by giving you 'tough love'. If you are easily hurt, it will be hard to pick apart what good could have been in the post due to the swarming of the bad.
Let me try and say what was being said in a gentler way:
"Elin, stand tall. While I cannot say that I know exactly what you are going through, can truly sympathize.. I can say that we all have our bad rows. No one can truly know what all you have gone through, or what the previous poster has gone through, so there is no sense in attempting to say who's life is harder than who's. What might seem like the end of the world to one may seem like a picnic to another. It is all up to one's view point. I could draw many conclusions from what little was presented for reading, but I will refrain to maintain the point of this post. There are many ways, dear, to help through your tough times, no matter how small that help might actually be. Try exploring different avenues of release.
It's good that you are posting/speaking about how you feel, but your expression of feelings may very well be even better once you have finally found a way to have some sort of freedom from what ever is stressing you."
Thank you for letting me ramble, I've been a lurker in this blog for a while and felt the need to say something.
I stumbled upon this blog while looking for Sims3 cc, and as soon as I began reading, I felt the need to say something. I am now 21 years old and happy, but from elementary school to the beginning of high school I too was depressed, abused, and suicidal. What I know now is that the horrible feelings you have during such terrible times will one day be a thing of the past. Sometimes there are no words or thoughts to make you feel better because all you can think about are the horrible things you are currently surrounded by, but you must look to the future. Where you sit, it may not look promising and to look to the future positively is difficult. But as someone who made it out alive, I beg you to try. You are clearly talented and wise. Look at all you have accomplished with this web site. That is commendable. And I agree with some other bloggers when they commended you for blogging of your feelings and thoughts. I was not that smart. I almost didn't make it out alive because I was too scared to find a release for my feelings. You have done that. As for the one who posted you to criticize, they state that they've been through "much tougher moments" but in that case, they should have compassion. And because they hold no compassion they are to be ignored. Do not listen to those who criticize and judge. It will only make things worse for you. People forget that life is precious and sacred. They lose their humanity. No one person's life or experiences are more important than another and all are sacred. Including yours. You are important, sacred, and precious. I don't know how old you are but I guarantee you have a long way ahead of you. And it can be a wonderful path. Just let it happen. I could have died, I could have given up, but I didn't. And I pray that you don't either. Because like I said, I'm happy now. I have a beautiful son, a great job, and a loving fiancee'. One day, you will be able to look back on your difficult times and know that it's over. Know that you're in a better place. And be able to laugh at the people such as your anonymous blogger who lacks compassion and holds hate in their heart. You are precious. Don't forget that. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
I'm just passing by too, but I just wanna say a simple thanks for all the stuff, which is wonderful, and to you, a simple get well :)
Elin, I was going to say something, but I'm not sure what to say after reading all the comments above. I say, listen to the people above! Every life is valuble, and we were all put on this earth as equals. When a baby is born, is it's life more valuble than an adult's? No. When a girl who has an abusive father (ME!) and annoying brothers enters the world not knowing what's in store for her, is her life anymore valuble than a girl who has no siblings are perfect parents. NO! Every is equal, and so they shall be. You are beautiful, Elin. What happened to you is not your fault and it never will be. Please, please, PLEASE don't kill yourself. Your life is too precious.
Hi Elin, I was sexually abused from as early as I can remember this continued in my early teens until my sister was born. From that day I took it upon myself to raise her and keep her out of my father's hands, it's been a long difficult journey, she is turning 15 on the 18th of October and is turning into a beautiful young lady, very much like yourself, that's why I had the need to write to you,
I couldnt tell my mom because all she ever wanted to do was to be a good mother and the day I was forced to take action in order to protect my sister, I sacrificed my mother's feelings, it scarred my mom for life, she felt she failed as a mother to protect me and to this day after so many years it still haunts her and she gets very depressed.
As a survivor I can tell you this much, yes I do partially feel responsible for my mother's hurt, I acted out horribly, slept with numerous guys because I associated love with sex, I also developed an eating disorder and got the wake up call of my life when I passed out in shower after starving for 4day's, I met a wonderful man when I turned 19 and he helped me turn my life around, he was going to become the next victim I will abuse and to my surprise he helped me deal with it, it's been 10 years now and we will celebrate our anniversary next year april.
Bad things that happen to you, happens for a reason, take it in your stride and consider it a life lesson, who knows what would have happenend to my sister if I never took any action? I saved her life in the long run and feel honoured for doing so, so yeah something positive did come out of it, it also taught me to recognise when something is amis, it broke the cycle.
The final step was healing and the only way for me personally was to resolve the issue with my dad. We are on good speaking terms and have spoken about what happenend to me, I am over it and am now in such a good place that I would like him to move on as well.
My GOLDEN RULE FOR LIFE IS....YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT HAPPENEND IN THE PAST BUT YOU CAN CONTROL WHERE YOU ARE GOING IN THE FUTURE. My choice was to not allow the bad things to determine my future.
Just on a note of suicide, I lost a very dear friend to suicide, let me tell you there is no amount of words which can describe just how much I miss her and mourn her to this day....she passed away 3 years ago and I wish I can pick up the phone and hear her voice, it left me without a friend to talk to.
As a person who was left behind I can tell you that you DO NOT DO ANY FAVOURS TO COMMIT SUICIDE,it is clear that you love your family and if you do love them that much, you will not do that to them by commiting suicide, you will scar them for life, I am scarred as a result and so is her little boy of 9 years old that doesnt understand why mommy is not coming home.... think twice before you make that choice.
Best of wishes, you may email me at any time you would like to talk
Tasha
South Africa
Hey there... I've been through the same thing. Seriously. But, I hope you find happiness in whatever you're doing right now :) I'll be rooting for you!
<3
Molly, USA
PS: Go to www.givesmehope.com You might like it ;D
You need to shut up and grow up. People have harder lives so deal with it.
Wow, person who last posted... you really shouldn't have wasted your time. Do you have no compassion what so ever? I don't understand why people think that because they are "Anonymous" that means they can let all humanity go out the window. If all you have is negativity, then keep it to yourself. She is obviously having a hard enough time without your negative input. If you don't want to hear about hard times, then sit in a yellow room with only a book about flowers. But in the real world, terrible things happen and as fellow humans, it's our responsibility to be understanding, compassionate and caring. So back off. And Elin, I hope you're doing well, it's been far too long since you've posted and it is scary, to be honest. But I will hope the best for you because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it. We are all equals as someone above said, and I hope you are well.
I tink that you should not pay attention to the person who wrote such a nasty comment! I have been visiting your blog for a long time. I pop in just to see if you are ok and i am very happy to see that you have been getting better. I am here rooting for you! I know you will get stronger and know that you are my hero! I think you are helping other girls with the same issues, by talking about you feelings and your pain. Thank you for sharing you thoughts and feelings, i know it is hard to lay bare in front of a lot of people. You are amazing! I mean this from the bottom of my heart!
P.S. You did not deserve any abuse from anyone and you shouldn't hate yourself, you are a survivor and for that you should be proud! God Bless You! Screw anyone who posts ugly and hurtful comments!
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